Gap for Fetuses

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Is your expected child ready to enter the ranks of upper-middle class America?

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That's the question the Gap is ready to answer. This fall, the popular mid-scale outfitters will introduce a new line of clothing, looking to surpass the ultra preparedness of the ready for post-Yuppi-Amercian-chic they brought to the table with Baby Gap.

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"There's an urgency that American parents feel when bringing a child into today's world," says Gap for Fetuses clothing designer. "They're not satisfied with hand-me downs and family heirlooms. They want new, they want hot, and most importantly, they want everyone to know that they're better than everyone else. Now, we can give them that feeling of superiority sooner than had ever been thought possible."

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Teaming up with material science engineers from the University of Connecticut, Gap designer "Frederique" has developed tiny replicas of popular adult Gap pieces designed to fit the peanut sized body of a four-month-old fetus. The clothes are made from carbon nanotubes, which are incredibly strong and elastic structures measuring approximately 1/50,000th of the width of a human hair.

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Gap for Fetuses has yet to debut their new line in public, but claim that responses from test groups have been positive.

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"Right now, the solid color polo with the flipped-up collar seems to be the favorite."